A Heartbreaking Story of Elder Care and Guardian Abuse
Posted: Tuesday, September 06, 2011
by Jim Fargiano
The Spoken Words of Spirit, Inc.
My last posted article took me far away from my comfort zone. In “A Heartbreaking Story of Elder Abuse” I outlined the plight of my friend’s fight for her mother’s rights to be restored. Whether you believe in the ability of mediums and psychics or not, that is generally what my efforts are put into. It was not something I sought, but rather given by a Power unexplained to me. Over the years it has allowed me to have helped thousands of people get focused on their life path, as well as to bring about a healing to most of them on numerous levels. The reason I am sharing this is that I have always tried to adjust to what is requested of me by the “inner drive” that often seems to differ from my personal concepts, wants and desires. That probably makes more sense to those of you who are on a good spiritual or religious path.
Considering that bringing attention to another elder abuse case going on in this country has brought me numerous e-mails and messages asking for my assistance in similar situations that others are facing, I hesitated even more in writing this second article. However, if I stay silent, I am only adding to the problem and not helping it to be recognized. That would put me in the same cluster of others who know about elder and guardian abuse, but do little to stop it. Apparently, my personal phobias are being overridden in the hopes that some of what I share will help at least one person. I am as far from an activist as anyone could be, as the inspirations and teaching I do comes in the form of allowing others to be self-empowered.
It was curiosity that got the best of me. Diane, who I have known for closer to six years, has never showed herself to be anything but loving and concerned about others. There are some people who are natural magnets for ridicule by family and strangers alike. Usually, this is because those people are either jealous or feel threatened by those who are trying to do the right things in life. Many of them are judging without cause. It is a problem that runs unnecessarily rampant in society. For over two years, I witnessed Diane struggle to deal with a judge’s power and ego-driven attitude in making his decisions. His rulings were based on blatant lies by others, testimony and statements that in many cases would be seen as perjury, are what shaped his erroneous opinions of my friend. It is a dangerous precedent to disparage someone for their behavior when you have nothing more than the hearsay of the people you put in control of an elderly woman, and who is financially benefitting from having autonomy over her.
I decided to do more than just give Diane moral support and have made a conscious decision to let other people across the country know about her battle to save her mother from being unwillingly incarcerated in a nursing home. While I know many facilities are excellent, none of them are excellent enough to override the desire to want to stay in your own home of sixty years, or to stay the remaining years of your life with the one daughter (in this case) who loves and wants to take care of you. I cannot understand how the laws that are supposed to protect people--under the guidance of judges--are twisted so that the judges and lawyers can benefit, instead of protecting the citizens who need the help.
My career has me dealing with emotional situations amongst family members on a weekly, if not daily basis. One person would tell me things about their spouses, parents, children or siblings that would make them seem like monsters. The truth is almost always better, albeit in many cases somewhat true. Personally, Diane would tell me about the differences she had with her siblings, yet I did not ever hear her say anything horrid about them. While I totally believed her, in the last few days I have witnessed a side to them that magnifies their attitudes and the truth of my good friend. This came through comments they made on a Facebook page intended to shed some knowledge about Dorothy’s plight. One made comments that showed he was only thinking about himself, and not an inkling of concern for his mother. The other posted an angry, vile, run-on sentence of baseless accusations and name calling. Again, it showed me that Diane had every reason to try to legally protect her mother from them.
My assessment of what has been happening came more into focus. Dorothy is being used as a pawn by a judge, law guardian and healthcare manager who all seem to be benefitting from a rift in the family. While Diane’s siblings made it pretty clear that it is all about money or themselves (my viewpoint after reading and hearing about some of the courtroom escapades), they have done nothing, in my opinion, to have helped their mother to live with some dignity. I have no right to attack her siblings, and quite frankly am not doing that, nor do I have any interest in doing so. Had they not decided to oppose that their sister be given legal guardianship, none of this would have happened. Diane had already been made power of attorney and healthcare proxy by her mother, so the real fault lies in the lap of the judge, as he showed a lack of compassion and commonsense. Instead of setting up arbitration or having the family sit with a mediator, he seized control, thereby making sure that the differences amongst them would be inflamed. He did this despite the fact that the lawyer Diane wanted to use during the early stages of this trauma emphatically stated to the judge, law guardian and healthcare manager, that he had known the family for twenty years and that they were having the wool pulled over their eyes by her siblings. It appears that the magistrate already had a plan of control and seizure of Dorothy and her estate in his mind, because he not only dismissed the attorney’s statement, but also disallowed him from representing Diane any further.
I was shown some of the court papers about this case over the last week. There is one in the public record that states that Diane’s siblings refuse to speak to her, yet the judge always manages to blame my friend for the lack of contact. It is convenient for him to do that because he gets to keep controlling opinion of the small estate by openly defaming Diane. In two years, this judge has allowed the law guardian to run rampant in her spending; most of which directly went into the pockets of herself and her law firm. In addition, neither she nor the judge did anything to reel in the absurdity of expenses tallied by the so-called healthcare manager. In reviewing some of the public records, I found that there was approximately $12,500 spent on “medication pours” over about the course of a year or so. When I broke the numbers down, they were being charged $135 per hour to separate Dorothy’s pills for her. This is something that Diane used to do for her Mom and told the court she would still do, but was disallowed. That is just one example of the absurdity that is being authorized by this Nassau County, NY judge.
All I can speak to is my perspective of what is happening. At about the same time the judge ruled Dorothy into a nursing home, despite Diane’s home being cleared as suitable for her mother to live in, all physical therapy was stopped. Dorothy was lied to one afternoon by the law guardian, the healthcare manager’s associate and another person, and told she was being brought to a doctor to have a medical problem looked at. Instead, she was initially checked into a nursing home that had only substandard reviews about the medical care. Dorothy was then brought to a hospital that was inconvenient for her children, and especially for Diane. For eleven days, she was forced to stay without her walker, clothes or therapy. This systematic neglect was to ensure that there would be “lawful” excuses to remand her into the custody of a nursing home. What this law “guardian” did was to try to create a weakened body because that creates a weakened heart, desire and mind; not to mention hope. It was her way of trying to seize a firmer grip over the life and assets of a still functioning, aged woman. Regardless, the strength of the soul and person’s spirit will not diminish if loved ones fight for them. When people of power begin to think their word is invincible, they are the ones who are responsible for the pathetic demise of a country and system that was derived from Godly principles.
Society is run by a set of rules that man has made. Most of them are designed to keep people safe, as well as protected from thievery. It is when those who create the laws abuse them, that many “regular” people feel overwhelmed and hopeless. While the universe runs best under the Golden Rule, human failures will still run amuck by those of greedy hearts and minds. This is when you have to take a stand against the injustices that happen to genuinely good people. My hope is that someone who has some backbone and legal prowess, as well as the ear of the media, will take on this corruption. However, none of that will matter if other people do not take a stand against this legal abuse, and often enslavement, of our senior citizens and others who are challenged in physical or emotional ways. It is time to get the word out about a serious problem that always seems to be swept under the proverbial carpet. What steps will you take to make a difference, regardless of whether or not you are personally impacted by a similar situation or not?
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More commentsJIM--I WOULD LKE TO TALK TO U--I AM DIANES BROTHER--AND THERE IS ALOT SHE HAS NOT TOLD U
DOUGDoug,
I'm aware of more than you think. Please e-mail at info@jimfargiano.com.
Thanks,
Jim
This judge by the sounds of things stated in your article does not believe in the constitution or the charter of human rights which means inside his heart has gone cold. He should be fired for violation of these protective instruments written before he was even around here.
When a judge or anyone of authority violates the charter or constitution one in court can literally represent themselves in stating this or have their lawyer. Its not a law by the way to have a lawyer as we can all represent ourselves in court. The court system like all the other corrupt stupid systems we live in designed long ago to serve the people however, today is designed as a big business to collect money from the people, to control the people and in this causes suffering in the people.
All Dianne has to do is stand up for herselve and her mother and state to the judge he or this courtroom is in violation of the constitution and the charter of human rights. I guess this judge doesnt believe in them ,then he shouldnt be a judge of any courtroom. One can be charged for violation of the constitution by the one they enforcing this violation upon.
In the constitution no one is to be incarcerated, medicated or held against their will for any reason except if they are being arrested and even then, one has to lay charges in the first place and police have to have a warrent. They are not to be jailed either until theres been an indictment. So folks , maybe we should be reading the constitution and the charter of human rights because believin these corrupt laws and cruel judges we abide by their twisted cold heart ruling which is by the way VOID
Before commenting, I think we should all hear the siblings side. I am sure this story has two sides.
Youve completely missed the whole point im stating here. Its not a matter of whos side listens to whos side. Read one more time if you will, and you may see something more.Maybe you should read the entire passage before commenting on mine. The woman didn't just wind up this way what were the events leading to this to be more specific? There is only one side stated and I am sure we are missing pieces to this puzzle. Was someone being greedy? Lets try to avoid the events that lead to the courts getting involved and maybe there will be less of these for us to hear about.
Makes one wonder.... would any of this ever have happened had this woman been poor and indigent? Sounds as though money is (as usual) at the root of it all. Good article- You seem to be trying to help these people- Kudos to you. Thanks- Always- EllaThank you, Ella. This entire case had me scratching my head while Diane would give me bits and pieces. It wasn't until I started probing the backgrounds and got that "push" that I realized the extent of not only this abuse case, but how widespread it is across the country. It is hard to believe that this judge, law guardian and others are allowed to freely rob the citizens they should be protecting. Whatever I put in both of the articles I have written are based on public records and my witnessing of a lot of it, plus people who have directly seen the court proceedings giving me their insights. I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
Way to go Jim, awsome. Your comment can ease Mr. Babylon who's more concerned with pickiing sides here. The constitution and charter of rights was violated regardless of what either woman did or said. I rest my caseKellie...
Funny how you ignore what I am trying to say. I do understand where this poor woman is at this point, but you are missing the point. If we want to keep the courts from getting involved then maybe we should look at why they are involved... How did they get involved in the first place? I read the posts on save Dorothy Wilson and the daughter was looking to put her mothers assets in her name, "to save them" why is that? Why wreent the assets going to be put in all the childrens names? I have personal knowledge of how greed can change a family perhaps the courts involvment could have been prevented. You are the only one choosing sides, this apparently is a place where we can voice our opinion. I do feel bad for anyone who does not have a choice and who is put in this situation, but it seems as though this could have been prevented and now the daughter is upset about a situiation she helped create!
Me in Babylon,
I am not answering for Kellie, but can tell you that everything that Diane has done has been fully documented, including the rough beginning when she was being advised by a lawyer in what to do and how to handle the finances until the case could be heard. She kept everything in the open and had records submitted to her lawyer and the court itself. Greed indeed can change people, but what I have witnessed is someone (Diane) not giving a care in the world about her mother's money or assets, other than to try to protect them for her. If your assumption is that she was or is trying to benefit from it, then you are sadly mistaken. As I have previously stated that nothing in either article can be refuted because all of it has been in court transcripts. It appears that your slant is in favor of Diane's siblings, thereby making you completely biased. Perhaps you can contact me directly to share your knowledge of this case and point out if I have made any mistakes. I am open to hearing that, but again, what I have written are documented facts. The siblings have a right to be heard, but only if it is in regards to how they can help their mother to live happily, instead of confined to a nursing home that she has no desire to be in. Are you aware that Diane has sent many letters to her mother's attorney outlining that her siblings would be allowed to have unlimited phone contact, as well as visitation with their mother if Dorothy is freed from her situation and can live with her? The facts of this case are enough to fill hundreds of pages, so I could see how you would think the story is shaded to Diane's viewpoint. That was never my intent because I tried to get to the basics only. What I did intend on doing was to bring to light how Dorothy lost her civil and humantarian rights. It is Dorothy who I am trying to help. Please send me an email with any truthful insights that you have.
The elderly will always need a good advocate.This is very important. No matter how great a facility might be, they need a strong advocate.
Dr.Bragg
hi jim,
this was very interesting, and if i were the child of a parent undergoing mistreatment, i would do everything i could to expose it.
however, i have felt the same way while recently going through a divorce: "What this law “guardian" did was to try to create a weakened body because that creates a weakened heart, desire and mind; not to mention hope. " this is exactly what i believe the lawyer and other enforcers tried to and pretty much succeeded to do to me. it was pathetic, and sickening to go through.
i have been hearing about elderly abuse for years now. someone should do something to ensure all institutions for all people, especially the elderly, are maintained in the way we want our family members to be treated.
thanks for your thoughts,
my best regards,
sueSue,
Thank you for commenting. I'm sorry you went through that yourself. Divorce is rarely easy, especially when the court stacks things against you. I totally agree that institutions for the elderly and others who are in need must have their rights better protected. Please keep the faith.
Jim
There are many forms of Elder abuse, by lawyers, judges, nursing homes, and yes, even family members. However, we must bring this before Congress, to change some of these abusive laws.
Greed does play a part (lawyers) in some of the decisions, and we don't always know what is going on, but family should not be seperated from loved ones. Many outsiders listen to an Alzheimer's patient, who doesn't mean to lie, but they have dementia, and they say outrageus things that just aren't true...In some of the other dementias, there are PARANOID DELUSIONs, that are even more accusatory, but have no truth. Some of those dementias are misdiagnosed as Alzheimers.
Sad story, but the US is full of these stories, and it is all about the money to some, and if it divides a mother/daughter; son/father, it is wrong. Some rare cases of family abuse exist, but I find more abuse prevalant, when lawyers find the dementia individual has some money, that they can get for some legal activity...real or imagined..
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